I love the You Might Be a Redneck if... jokes. I thought it would be cool to do a You Might Be in Zambia if... post. These are not really jokes because I promise you that each of these has happened to me..
You Might Be in Zambia if...
you find random bugs like crickets crawling on you while sitting at your desk.
you observe people urinating in your yard about once every two weeks.
you constantly hear the world muzungu (white person) wherever you go.
you saw a five year old girl peeing on the sidewalk in the major downtown area of your town while her parents stood beside her. This girl also tried to talk to me while she was peeing (true story that happened on Saturday).
the one movie rental store only has bootleg copies of the movies.
you have to sprint out of the grocery store to stop a thief from breaking into your car (happened yesterday)
50% of the cars emit visible black smoke from their tailpipes and you swear you are going to get lung cancer every time you breath
Those are just few of the things that you sometimes experience when you live in a place like Zambia. No, I did not catch the thief trying to break into my car, but I did chase him away before he was able to take anything. It was a dramatic experience though as I had to jump over a metal barrier to exit the store. I think the onlookers thought I was crazy. That is a usual occurrence though whether I am in Zambia or the USA.
Your jump over the metal barrier sounds very epic!
ReplyDeleteDave-
ReplyDeleteI love it! Those bring back good memories from the Summer of 07. Never had the "person talking to you while peeing" experience- can't say I envy that one. I thought of a few myself: having 3 different taxi-bus drivers having a tug-of-war match, each telling you they have the best ride, while the 15 people crammed in the bus watch. Or constantly hearing "How-aa-u" from children practicing their english greeting on you (after they point and yell Mzungu!)
It's good to hear about how the Kingdom is advancing over there. Thanks for the blog. -Nathan Chase